So many of the projects I’ve created have had half-lives. Websites started, a podcast that puttered out, memory cards full of photos that I intended to do…something with. Maybe I have ADD, maybe I’m bad at prioritizing, maybe I didn’t know the right people to partner with, who knows!
All I know is that I’m sick of it.
I’ve decided to focus on the one thing that I’ve always wanted to do. Sometimes it’s an overwhelming desire and sometimes it’s just a little agitation, but it’s always there.
I want to direct.
Do I have experience? …sure. I directed two plays in college. One was a roaring success! The underdog of the Spring Theatrical Season at my tiny liberal arts school! It went on to be an example of what future students in the directing class could achieve! The other play was creatively ambitious, yet under-supported technically by my classmates. I’m still proud of it, regardless of the fact that I don’t use exclamation points when describing it.
In terms of film experience, I’ve certainly put in the hours in the industry and on sets. I’ve had a range of roles on short film sets, and I’ve been working in Los Angeles for over a decade. My resume is lined with wild roles at huge companies. My jobs have all been Production-adjacent and working in offices behind computers, solving problems with emails, moving file from Folder A to Folder B, amending situations by asking permission from someone who will ask permission from someone else.
… do I sound bored?
Because I am. I’m a little bored.
I want to do more. I learned a long time ago that I’m best on my feet, I’m happiest in motion, and that I love putting out proverbial fires. My career was starting to move in that direction when the pandemic hit, and then a lot happened all at once: my nephew was born with a heart defect, I got laid off, and my father’s cancer took a turn for the worse.
I reshuffled priorities and realized that I needed to start focusing on creativity. I needed to pick up some of those half-life projects and just fucking dive in.
If I want to be hired into more creative roles or create my own creative career? It’s about time I prove I can do it, and the person I need to prove that to more than anyone else is myself.
My best friend wrote this script and gave it to me before the pandemic. She said it was mine to play with.
So? Let’s play.